Open Letter to My Insecurities as a 20-something Woman Today
Sometimes, just sometimes — maybe someone has just asked me to describe myself in an interview, maybe I’m introducing myself at a coffee date, maybe I’m just scrolling through my Instagram feed of inspiring, assured, badass women — I am so excited about the woman I am becoming, and the woman I am.
In those moments, I feel my chest swell with pride as I think of the milestones I’ve crested, and my cheeks redden with memories of every time I’ve felt beautiful, every time I’ve caught myself in the mirror and smiled in surprise — Wow, I’m radiant, every time a man has looked at me with sincerity in his eyes — the kind of sincerity that is equal parts stolen and given, because his mouth is too afraid to say the words. In those moments, I can see myself surrounded by a diverse gaggle of beautiful, successful, confident women, clinking glasses to our success. In those moments, I can see myself surrounded by the trappings of “Baby girl, you made it!” — warm, comfortable, safe, grateful, with strong legs and a stronger smile.
Those moments are collected in a little secret cloud of self-assuredness I carry around me, because while they are not few or far in-between, and while they have only become more frequent as I’ve shed my little girl cocoon, there are also so many permutations of What If? floating around. Some What Ifs…